Treeless in Seattle

Rabbi throws down over Christmas trees.

Next thing you know they’ll make people stop displaying the ten commandments in public buildings. Oh wait…

Object lesson

More ECM but a little more hands on than the last dose. Phil Johnson of Pyromaniacs goes toe to toe with a commenter. Can you say object lesson?

Someone’s going to have a headache in the morning….

Oh yeah and a Bible too…

Holidays come and go—Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year’s—but potlucks are forever. And while surviving a Southern Baptist Potluck Dinner isn’t equivalent to the sort of challenge that James Kim faced it can be a dangerous proposition. Lest the reader get bent by that last statement, I was recently involved in a discussion about survival—tangentially generated by that situation. The crack was made, perhaps by me, that survival kits should be issued before potlucks. Let the groans begin…

Southern Baptist Church Survival Kit

For Potlucks:
Antacid/Acid blocker of choice
Toothpicks
Dental Floss
Elastic waist pants
Breath mints

In General:
Nose strips (to prevent snoring)
Hard candy with noisy wrapper (to encourage the pastor to wrap it up)
Jingly keys (for invitation)

Along these lines we’ve started keeping our older children in church with us so they can learn how to worship along with us rather than being sent to Children’s Church. Its very nice, actually, and long about the third Sunday they started really paying attention.

Unbound

If you have to be somewhere in thirty minutes and you’re single its generally not a problem. You fly around the house, get cleaned up and ready and go and you won’t even have to break any traffic laws.

If you’re married and you have to be somewhere in thirty minutes you’re running late. You fly around the house, talking to your spouse and generally run into them a few times. Oh, thats not so bad really…but there will have to be a severe gap in the local police department’s traffic coverage in order for you to arrive reasonably on time.

If you’re married and you have one kid and you have to be somewhere in thirty minutes you will require a major miracle involving teleportation especially if your child is still running through the house naked. It may be time to reconsider how badly you want to attend said event.

If you’re married with more than one child and you have to be somewhere in thirty minutes? Unless you’re putting on coats and getting ready to walk out the door forget it.

If you can relate to this and you’re just completely frazzled out or worn smooth as a friend of mine used to say you’re probably a parent. Just remember: these ARE the good times. I was standing outside a bathroom last week–something which has almost achieved hobby status for me–waiting for my wife and the girls. I struck up a conversation with these two dear ladies who were also waiting. It’s not hard to do that when you are standing there–and there can be anywhere–with kids. In fact, had I known this when I was single, I would have rented some kids to help with meeting girls. After the oohing and ahhing one said “enjoy them now today they’re walking on your toes tomorrow they’ll walk on your heart.”

Thats not something I can actually think about right now because they’re so little but its probably, in essence, true. One of these days they won’t be so little. Who will take the blame for my being late then? Who will I be angry with for trashing a room or throwing peas at their sister? Or deciding to “go potty by myself” just as I zip up my coat? No one, of course, because they will have moved on just as I have moved on from my own childhood.

And that will break anyone who loves having their kids around.

It’s Christmas. Its a celebration of what could have been but wasn’t. It’s a celebration of what is the most joyful event ever, the birth of Jesus. While we’re wearing out our shoes or our modems or the numbers off of our credit cards lets try to remember that. Kids get excited this time of year–LET them be excited. It will help you on those long days after they’ve grown to remember these things. It will also help them to remember you letting them do these things. They’re going to have hard days, tough times in their lives. Give them something they can hold on to. Solid family traditions and a stack of worn out Bibles. That’s the best thing they can get this Christmas.

Josh