Things Grown Ups (With Kids)(Ought To) Know How To Do

So you’re a grown up with kids. You can vote, drive, you make your own decisions…you’ve even decided to have kids. Now what?

What do you mean NOW WHAT?

Trust me, I know what you mean. It’s not easy to harness those little bundles of raw energy and get them to do anything. But there are some things they like to do that you’re good at. Heres a short list. Feel free to add to it in the meta (you know, the comments) or whatever.

Draw:
Come on, if you can write a business proposal or a blog or even a grocery list for that matter you can do these things

Using your kids crayons, sit down with them and color. Write their name at the top of the page every time so you’ll know who did it and they’ll know what it looks like written out (instead of getting yelled across the house). Draw a picture of your own or let them direct you. Its not too late to dredge up those kindergarten memories. Show them their shapes, colors and letters. Show them how to hold a writing instrument correctly. Left hand, right hand–whatever hand they use is the hand you show them how to do things with. They’re kids you know…let them be kids.

Sidewalk chalk is a delight but you know what? It also works on the driveway! Transform any dull gray slab of concrete into a wonderland of color. It’s a little chaotic and a lot messy but its so much fun. My kids have learned most of their shapes, colors, letters and numbers with sidewalk chalk because its fun. If its too hard on your knees, get a garden kneeler and go to town. (In fact, back when I was trying to learn greek, I used to practice my letters out in the driveway. The kids thought it was great.)

Finger paints are a whole ‘nuther realm, but its pretty easy to break out some of your old T-shirts and let the kids loose. If you’re a serious neat freak cover the whole table top with butcher paper to ease cleanup. A big plus to finger paints is that they don’t require a whole lot of instruction. Kids pretty much already know how to use them.

Blow:
This one’s easy. Bubbles and dandelions are a wonder to any child under about age 8 or older if they have little siblings.

Push:
A swing, a stroller, a ball, a merry go round, a tricycle, a bicycle a little baby scooter. Come on, you can do it.

Walk, jump, run:
Down to the mail box.
Through the woods.
Around the block.

Buy one of those ball things with a handle and show them how to use it. Go on a bounce through the yard. It’s a great workout and you don’t have to buy yoga pants to do it.

I remember walking my little ones through the house and teaching them the words for all the things we walked by. No, they don’t know what a ‘furnace closet’ is but up to about age two they are your single biggest fan and they love the sound of your voice.

Throw: A ball, a Frisbee, a football…name it. Playing catch is universal and kids love it. This one even works if you’re a man and you don’t have kids. If there are kids on your block take that glove outside and just start throwing the ball into the air. How long do you think it will be before you have some kids with ball gloves wanting to play catch?

I don’t know about that last one in this day and age because of the way parents are about ‘other people’ but its worth a shot. Maybe you can deliver some gospel while you’re at it.

Fold
Who doesn’t know how to fold a paper air plane? OK, you need some baseball…

Spray your kids with a hose, a sprinkler, a super soaker. You can get a whole set of these nifty pneumatic water guns for something like $9.95 these days. They beat those cheap plastic knock-off all to pieces. Plus, on a hot day there’s a.)nothing better, b.)a good chance they’ll dry completely before you take them inside.

Dig. Here’s an experiment. Take any group of toddlers (or older) kids to a bare patch of dirt and provide buckets, shovels, or even just some sticks and they will start to dig. Eventually. If you’re doing it they will begin almost immediately.

Read
A book, the bible, a story.
Make up a story or read bible stories to your kids. Teach them the basics of the faith along the way. If you get into the habit of reading ‘The Grouchy Ladybug’ or ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ and take the time to answer the questions they have through the story, pretty soon they’ll listen to the Gospel of Luke and have questions there too. Thats important. Thats what its all about. Thats being a light in the darkness and heres a reminder:

They are in the dark. They’re little sinners in need of the Savior. Don’t forget it.

Make something happen this summer. Make a mess. Make a craft. Make an impression on your kids other than ‘Daddy’s busy right now’ or ‘later’ or ‘Where is your mother?’ Because the day is coming when they are going to need to hear about Jesus, will you have prepared them? Will your preparations be found lacking on that day? I hope not.

You want to not be bored with your kids? Truly make them your kids by investing yourself in their lives. Trust me, they’ll be out of your hair soon enough…

Summertime

But it’s Summertime. What that means, in plain terms to a Dad who stays home, is that for the next ~ three months or so there will be no professionally organized state funded service to educate and occupy the children under you care. That means that instead of six hours of relative peace each day its full throttle from sunup to sundown. Rockets and puppies and magic flying unicorn kitty princesses and you name it. ZOOOOooooooom!

And its so easy to let it all go flowing by. The older I get the easier it is and the more likely my kids are to just let me. That’s something people don’t get. A child will learn to ignore you if you ignore them most of the time. Let’s say that again in another way: If you don’t make time to spend with your kids, they will soon learn to do without attention from you.

Ouch.

I didn’t say it was good for them or you for that matter but that’s the way it is.

So what’s a Dad to do? Read (or blog) the summer away and let the kids do what they want? Let them burn that energy on the swings and bikes and other implements of destruction? Well, yeah, some of the time. But this is an excellent opportunity for parents who stay home to, well, actually spend time with their children. Note I did not say ‘be in the same room with them’. Spend time…WITH the kids.

What that means for the reader? Posting might be spotty this summer or it might mostly center around post dealing with family issues. Probably a good bit of bible too…

But either way I’m not missing out on summer. No way.

Idle Words

I don’t even know where to begin. That’s how messed up this is. I’ve written about spending time with my children and how it’s important to get our priorities straight. I’ve written about the Bible and how important it is to submit to its authority. I’ve written about a lot of things. It seems that I spend all my spare time writing or reading what others have written and some times its not ‘spare’ time. It’s time I’ve taken from other things that need to be done. That’s the first thing I’ve got against blogging: if people would begin to act on their faith rather than spend so much time writing about it, things would be much better in this world.

Yeah I know, a great deal is done in the name of Christ on blogs. A great deal is said and done and none of it matters much at the end of the day. Its just a big pile of URL’s and a ranking on Technorati or whatever. Nine tenths of the glory goes to the blogger, whatever little catchy title they have come up with or whatever bible verse they append to their posts.

It’s this need to be read and this need to be ranked or whatever that I think drives a lot of folks. Oh some are doing it because they have something vital to say about the gospel and they do so on a regular basis but they’ve added the blog as a good electronic platform. It’s another extension of their ministry. It’s a means rather than an end.

Two things that I am concerned about: poverty and idle words. The first sneaks up on you it comes upon you like an ‘armed man’ and the thing that gripes me is that we allow it to occur according to Proverbs. It is our own lack of preparation that jumps us when we need to be about the business of the Gospel. Is my blog helping me to prepare? Is it assisting in my studies and helping me in my walk with the Lord? Some can answer yes. I cannot. For me it is an endless stream of idle words all of which we will have to answer for some day. A daily drive to post because of the numbers, not because I have anything significant to share. There are bible references for both of those things but I cannot look them up right now. I’m too busy blogging.

Last year Bobby Welch was reviled in the blogging community because he dared to attack the institution of blogging by saying word to the effect that it wasn’t ‘ministry’. I don’t agree with that 100%, but a great deal of what goes on in the meta of blogs and even in the posts of blogs isn’t ministry at all. It’s idle chatter. It’s updates on the geraniums or the book deals. It’s an attempt to cause someone to remove money from their pocket and give it to the writer. Frank Turk occasionally reports ministry that occurs because of his blog. That’s great. But he’s one of how many? A Billion? Please.

The People of Christ, the Elect, all those who call themselves saved, the Word of God should be the thing for which you rely on your daily bread. A blog won’t cut it. Read ten, they won’t do the trick. Be puffed up with all the knowledge from all the blogs you’ve read and guess what? You still only be puffed up.

So I’m going to impose a 90 day blog fast upon myself. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, but that’ll put me back online at the end of August. There’s a few more in the queue…but it begins this week. Drop me an email if you like if you have questions. I’ll answer those fairly promptly.

We’ll see if my summer projects pan out. (I’m pretty sure they won’t if I’m on the computer all the time.)

I’m going fishing. I’m going to teach my kids how to skip rocks. I’m going to have a bug collection contest in my garden…

I can’t wait.

But do pray for me during this time. If you happen to stop by you don’t have to leave a long comment, but drop a note in the comments section if you mean to pray for me and my family. We dearly need it.

There are far too many things that distract us from the business of raising families without adding something else. Its too important for our kids to be raised as young bible-hungry believers in Christ. Theological arguments aside, be a parent and teach your kids what they NEED to know: the Gospel. Everything else is, well, its crap.

The word of God is not bound…are you? If you know Christ you are truly unbound. You are set free from the chains of sin to do as you please and to please Him…that should truly be what pleases you. Not pleasing yourself. Not stroking your ego you watch the hit counter climb.

The word of God is not bound…and neither are his children. May the Lord bless you and keep you by his Grace (Ephesians 1)…

Ahem: Boredom

My Dad came down for a visit once and we were talking about something like this article I posted about yesterday. “Yeah,” he says, “but one regret you don’t want to have is not spending enough time with your kids.”

I think I’ve got that one covered.

My first thought when I read the article about being bored with your kids was “How horribly selfish,” then I thought about all the times I’ve had to read ‘The Very Busy Spider’ by Eric Carle and I got an inkling. I don’t agree that it’s a good attitude but I can sure understand it. Nine tenths of running a household is repetition. Bowls need washing and tables need wiping and they’re always going to be the same bowls and tables you wiped yesterday.

Having worked many other jobs plus one lengthy ‘career’ running a household isn’t much different and, frankly, you COULDN’T pay me enough to do some of the things I have to do on a daily basis. There isn’t that much money…

There IS more than enough love. That’s enough and that’s what it takes to fight through the frustration and the ‘boredom’ and the sheer insanity of spending half your day saying NO and the other half cleaning up because they didn’t listen so that you can actually get something accomplished.

Go ahead and try to reconcile it with your biblical interpretations of what a man should do. Go on…and after you bang your head against that wall for three or four years you can just get down to the business of taking care of your family and doing what you need to do as a Christian which is serve.

Bored Stiff

I found this article about moms who think their kids activities are boring. What do the moms who read Unbound think?

Jerry Falwell Dies

I just got this in my email box from CNN. Here’s another link.

Ablaze

I’m not cranked up enough about anything to write At Home Monday this week but next week, look out… So I’ll set up the weeks bible study in Mark beginning with chapter 11.

11 Now when they drew near to Jerusalem, to Bethphage and Bethany, at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples 2 and said to them, “Go into the village in front of you, and immediately as you enter it you will find a colt tied, on which no one has ever sat. Untie it and bring it. 3 If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord has need of it and will send it back here immediately.’ ” 4 And they went away and found a colt tied at a door outside in the street, and they untied it. 5 And some of those standing there said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” 6 And they told them what Jesus had said, and they let them go. 7 And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it, and he sat on it. 8 And many spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut from the fields. 9 And those who went before and those who followed were shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! 10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of sour father David! Hosanna in the highest!” 11 And he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple. And when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.” –Mark 11:1-11

Comparisons: Matt. 21:1-9; Luke 19:29-38; John 12:12-15

As I wrote in my last entry, this passage was the text for one of my first sermons. I had been preaching all summer and I was relatively confident that I could pull it off, but I was still tense. There’s an excitement that goes along with preaching or teaching that I have never been able to shake…can’t say I’ve tried very hard.

It was a semi-rural church and someone had come up with the idea that they should have a tent revival. It was blazing hot inside and out, I can remember that and it seems that something was wrong with the air conditioning at that point so they were trying to make the best of a bad situation rather than wallowing in melancholy tradition. I was inside for a moment and I would have been hard pressed to call that one. In the hurry to get ready it had been pointed out that the church grounds were a little unkempt so the Pastor got busy and, in a tremendous display of why some are not safe in anything but the ministry of the Word, removed all the hair forward of his ears lighting a small but unsightly brush pile with gasoline. I suspect that’s not exactly the kind of fire they were hoping for to begin their revival.

I was excited to get to preach at any rate but I felt bad for the guy at the time for the loss of his hair—I think the only other thing that was scorched was his pride—but also because it seems like there should have been someone helping him out. Its as if ‘pastor’ and ‘groundskeeper’ seem to go together for some reason. I can’t figure that one out.

As I sat and wrote this out, my eyes drifted back up the page to Mark 10:42-45 [brackets mine, er, from the ESV notes anyway] to a point which fits:

42 And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 43 But sit shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant [Greek diakonos] 44 and whoever would be first among you must be slave [Greek bondservant (doulos)] of all. 45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

That’s pretty simple. It occurs to me that this church’s deacon ministry was failing. In fact, if memory serves, there wasn’t much of one there, just some committee heads that served as ‘elders’ in a limited sort of a way.

I think about the many overwhelmed pastors I’ve known in the past and wonder how many of their ministries would have been prevented from ending in burnout if that body would have been functioning properly. How many times have you seen a pastor running from appointment to appointment harried and hurried and completely unable to pour himself into the one area for which he was really created—the study and preaching of the Gospel.

Now this part is aimed primarily at my SBC brethren—We have too long sought after the high seats and the best places. We have too long demanded that men who should be accorded honor in the church be ‘hired’ by personnel committee’s. As if their calling is another item on a resume and the sermon is something we must check off our Sunday to do list. In v.42 Jesus said “You know” this is how the Gentiles operate. They “Lord” it over one another when they have some power and they do. We see it everyday in every job. But he has a surprise for us in v.43 and I think we must listen, “But it shall not be so among you.” IT SHALL NOT BE SO… are we missing the emphasis on this?

I think we are and I don’t think we’re going to get very far unless these attitudes are changed.

The Best

I love to preach and teach the Word of God. It’s just something I enjoy doing and I generally get good feedback from my class or from the congregation. I’m not pushy about it. I’ve never floated a ‘resume’ or anything like that, I’ve just taken the opportunities as they’ve come my way. It is always a blessing at least and I always learn more than my class.

One time I remember getting a call on Saturday night shortly after I was married, the phone rang and it was the teacher of a preaching class I was taking at the time. A pastor had been burned in a fire “And they are starting they’re revival tomorrow…do you think…” Yeah I said, of course. My wife, lovely thing that she is, took her mother who was in for a visit and said “We wanted to go shopping anyway, go ahead and study.” And study I did.

Now for the pastor reading this, you may recall a time when you thought you knew more than you did and relied on memory for most of your bible references. You may remember that first few sermons you preached and getting ready for them was a long process—or not. My pastor at the time said, “Well, I’ve been doing this awhile so it doesn’t take me as long to get ready. Most of my stuff is already up there,” pointing to his gray head—he was a fine preacher and pastor too.

Our arrival at that church is a miracle in and of itself and I was a little rattled and a little hot. I’d worn my only suit—a cool double-breasted job and when I see pictures now I’m sure I look like a gangster. So I stepped into the pulpit and began.

My text was the piece we are going to start with on Monday—I’ll probably post that tomorrow. The Triumphal Entry…and I gave my reference. I ignored a few puzzled looks and pushed on to the end of my sermon and at the end, stepped down as arranged so that the chairman of deacons could do the alter call.

I thought I had done pretty well and everyone at the ‘shake and howdy’ afterwards said so I was slightly full of myself. When we got to the car I was all grins but my wife, God love her, said, “The preaching was fine except you gave a reference for a passage on divorce and you played with your buttons the whole time—like they were volume control knobs.”

So I got a double lesson on handling the Word of God carefully and humility. At the time preaching was the most important thing in my life and a schedule with Sundays and Wednesday’s packed full was what I wanted most.

But life’s funny and it doesn’t always work like you think it will. God moves his children where they wouldn’t ordinarily go for his glory and we ended up in a place where I was unknown and unheard. I haven’t preached since except for the odd devotional and occasionally a VBS opener—but I’ve got my tools ready. I’ve taught a lot of Sunday School since then. I’ve done a lot more study and kept my tools sharp. I never know when I’ll get a chance to preach or teach.

Good news, I think

The divorce rate goes down.

The Stop

”46 And they came to Jericho. And as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the roadside. 47 And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” 48 And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” 49 And Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart. Get up; he is calling you.” 50 And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. 51 And Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” And the blind man said to him, “Rabbi, let me recover my sight.” 52 And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.” —Mark 10:46-52 (ESV)

At Jesus command, in v.49, the disciples call Bartimaeus from the side of the road “Take heart” they told him “Get up; he is calling you.” This is the general call that every hamn hears. In theological terms it’s called ‘general revelation’ –the fact that God and his existence is readily visible in all of creation. (Romans 1:18-24). So much so that if it were not for Sin and mans own depraved nature, we would as humans be able on our own to reach the conclusion that God exists and seek out a relationship with Him. “…so they are without excuse.” (Romans 1:20)

It’s at this point in Mark 10:48 that we all find ourselves. Blind, naked, beggars outside the city: only in the depths of our despair do we cry out for mercy. And even then only when we hear that Jesus might be near. The crux of salvation, the crossroads of repentance is right here at the end of v.48…

And then Jesus stops and calls us.

Stop and ask yourself, what would have happened without that stop? You and me, the blind beggars—what would we have done? We would probably still be content to wallow in our sin, accepting whatever the world is happy to throw our way. But Jesus doesn’t allow that to happen. He sends his disciples with the call… “Take heart. Get up; He is calling you.” And yet so many refuse to get up. “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but the became futile in their thinking. And their foolish hearts were darkened.” (Romans 1:21) They are content to sit in that darkness and worse, according to the rest of Romans 1, rather than get up and regain their sight.

But Bartimaeus didn’t do that. V.50 tells us he ‘sprang up’ and came to Jesus and for the second time, Christ asks the question: “What do you want me to do for you?” What would you ask the King of Kings to do for you if you had a chance? It was well known that the Messiah would be a restorer of sight to the blind. All the Jews in Jerusalem and everywhere else knew this—they were much better at teaching their children than we are—and I’ve got a hunch that this fellow had it pounded into his head too. “You’re worthless without your sight, unless the messiah comes…” said, no doubt, with the same doubt exhibited in the phrase used so often to describe an unknown but very long period of time “Till Jesus comes back…”

‘Rabbi, let me recover my sight’ and in v.52 we see that he does ‘immediately.’

Listen, I think the ‘word of faith’ folks have bludgeoned this passage enough but I will say this much: the point of ‘faith’ for this fellow wasn’t right here when his eyes started working again. It was way back there somewhere when he first heard that maybe Jesus was the Messiah and then finally maybe he’ll be coming through Jericho and then again when someone came by saying “He’ll be here any minute…” and finally in v.47 when he starts crying out for mercy. It wasn’t a moment of belief where his own faith shined bright enough to burn the scales off of his eyes, it was a conscious process where step by step he showed the faith he had been given, the faith to believe that this Jesus of Nazareth was in fact, the ‘Son of David’. And finally in v.50, when given the chance, he throws off his cloak and abandons everything he has for Christ. That’s faith, that’s being made whole and well—the fact that his eyes worked afterward was not the main event.